你知道90%的同學,寫作都會離題嗎?


哈囉!大家午安,我是SK2的Rosa,
今天與Lia一起在咖啡廳工作,希望能夠分享每週的顧問時間中,發現的驚人事實。

常常看到版友抱怨明明打超多字、而且經過了GRE洗禮後,還會挑一些艱難的單字使用,
為什麼作文只拿21分嗎?版友表示不解。

同學,其實很有可能是,你根本答非所問了!

你知道多少同學作文會離題嗎?

根據我的觀察,正式考試時,90%的同學寫作都離題。

90%的同學寫作都離題。

90%的同學寫作都離題。


因為很重要,所以要說三次!


更重要的是,離題的同學通常自己完全沒感覺啊!

離題會有很嚴重的後果嗎?當然!

不妨猜猜看離題會拿幾分呢?試想,假如你是評分官,你會給一篇答非所問的作文幾分呢?(0-30分)







根據我長期觀察,只要離題,會拿低分Fair,21分上下。

為什麼呢?試想,今天題目問你
“The government should preserve old buildings instead of building new ones. Do you agree or disagree?”

你回答:I want to take a TOEFL test because I wish to go abroad and study in my ideal school.

雖然文法沒問題,但評分官應該會在閱卷時大翻白眼吧?
內心OS: “這位同學,你是否識字呀?雖然你寫作程度不錯,但答非所問,要我怎麼給你分數呢?”

因此,離題是寫作裡的大忌呀!離題就不用玩了,不論用詞遣字再好、字數再多、理由再有說服力,都會是低分,原因無它,只是因為沒有回答到題目








今天我們就來學習作文裡面主題句要怎麼寫,才不會離題。

以下有十道作文題目以及十個答案,請你每一題都先想一下答案哪裡離題了,要怎麼改寫才不會離題。

*建議把答案寫在紙上,白紙黑字,比較好對照我的參考答案。
注意!練習主題句時,強烈建議同學寫下來,或是打出來。假如只用眼睛看,不算練習喔!

*看完每題的講解後,請記錄你是否有離題,一題算一分,最後結算成績,可以預測你考試時是否會離題。

準備好白紙和筆了嗎?(筆電或ipad,只要能夠打字也可以喔!:D )


  1. Q: Watching movies at home is more fun than watching movies in the cinema. Do you agree or disagree?

A: I prefer to watch movies at home because I can save money.

整句請改寫:







同學看出來了嗎?這題會先定義fun,所以如果只講在家裡看電影的優點,就會離題。
同一個理由,可以改成:

I think that saving money is fun, and watching movies at home can save money.

如此一來,你先定義了fun,清楚說出what is fun,這樣說省錢就不會有問題。
也就是說,假如你句子裡面沒有提到fun,就算離題。

上一題比較簡單,如果你看得出來,別高興得太早喔!
接下來,讓我們來挑戰難一點的題目喔!

2. Q: Is it necessary for high school students to do household work after school to help build their sense of responsibility?

A: I think that doing household work is necessary, because high school students can not only take care of family members but also learn to be responsible.

請改寫:







同學看出來了嗎?這題因為有目的—建立責任感,要先定義高中生的責任是什麼,再討論是否要做家事,假如沒有討論到責任,就算離題。

新手很容易會寫出上述的句子,說這樣做不只能夠...更能夠...,其實主題句的原則是簡單、清楚且相關,所以建議同學在主題句中專心講一件事,第二件事可以於下個段落講。

可改寫成:
Responsible high school students should take care of family members, and doing housework after school can help them do so.


3. Q: Some people think that the important role of university professors is to do research, others think the main role of them is to educate students. What is your opinion?

A: University professors place emphasis on reputation, and educating students can bring about more reputation.

請改寫:







這題你認為要先定義什麼呢?是的,要先定義大學教授在社會中、學校中扮演什麼角色,再去看跟哪件事情(做研究或教學)比較有關。這理由完全離題因為是從教授出發,而不是從教授在社會中的功能出發。

可改寫成:

It is important for university professors to cultivate elites, and educating students can achieve the goal.



4. Q: What influences your decision the most when you make a purchase?
a. friend's advice b. media (advertisements on TV, newspaper, magazine, etc) c. recommendation of the salesperson

A: I prefer to choose the recommendation of the salespeople, because they often shower me with compliments on how good I look.

請改寫:







這題要先定義什麼呢?influence decision,所以同學要先想你的特性以及你在乎的層面,因此在購物時,什麼事情最能夠影響你的決定。
注意!比較偏好(prefer to)跟比較容易被影響(influenced by)不一樣喔!如此回答有離題之嫌。

同一個理由,可改寫成:
I am easily influenced by people’s compliments, and salespeople often shower me with compliments.

先定義什麼情況下容易被影響,再給出你的選擇(salespeople),便會更清楚。

5. Q: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All schoolteachers should be required to take courses every five years to update their knowledge.

A: I agree because teachers care about reputation and taking courses every five years can bring higher reputation.

請改寫:







這題要先定義什麼呢?沒錯,有目的的話,要先定義目的。可是同學有發現哪個是目的嗎?
是的,因為這裏的目的是update knowledge,所以你必須要回答到這件事,才可以,否則就算離題。

上述的理由離題,因為已經講到take course every five years的優點了,而沒有針對update knowledge做討論。如此一來,答案比較像是在回答Do you agree or disagree? All schoolteachers should be required to take courses every five years. 了解差別了嗎?

這題要先定義老師想到update knowledge時,會在乎的層面,如:想要更新跟科技有關的知識、注重即時性、便利性等。如此一來,主題句才能夠切題。

可改寫成:

Teachers place emphasis on knowledge about the newest technology, and taking courses every five years can allow them to gain the newest knowledge on technology.

這樣寫,讀者便會瞭解例子要證明,taking courses every five years跟knowledge on the newest technology的關聯性。


6. Q: A high school has decided that all students must take a class in which they learn a practical skill. School administrators are trying to decide whether to hold a class in cooking, managing personal finances or auto repair. Which do you think the school should require students to take? Why?

A: A class in cooking is the best, because students like to cook.

請改寫:







很多同學這題都會寫哪個選擇對於學生最好,如此一來,三個理由很容易會重複。

這題你認為要從誰出發呢?是的,人家給你這麼長的情境不是白寫的好嗎?今天是學校要做決定,因此,你應該要從學校的立場出發,思考當學校做決策時,會考慮什麼呢?我認為,學校會考慮安全性、實用性以及課程預算。

因此,同一個理由,可以從學校出發改寫成
Schools care about students, and holding a class in cooking can help students learn how to cook.

如此一來,便不會離題,因為是從學校立場出發,而學校希望開設對學生最實用的課程。

7. Q: Which of the following is the most important to you when choosing a living place? (1) living in a place that is not expensive; (2) living close to relatives; (3) living in an area with many shops and restaurants

A: I like to feel safe, and living close to relatives makes me safe.

請改寫:







這題你會先定義哪個字呢?是的,因為有態度,所以要先定義態度(important)。
同一題,可改寫成:

A sense of security is the most important to me, and living close to relatives can make me feel safer. 


8. Q: Which way do you think is the best for a student to make new friends? 
  1. joining a sports team, b. participate in community activities, c. traveling.

A: Joining a sports team can help students keep in shape and also make friends.

請改寫:







這題會先定義目的,學生都如何交新的朋友,需要什麼資源,如:時間、金錢、共同話題、好的氣氛?學生特性如何,慢熟還是快熟?

Students are usually shy when making new friends, and joining a sports team can provide students with common topics.


9. Q: Movies and television have more negative effects than positive ones on young people's behavior.

A: Movies and TV have more negative effects, because they will make the young people near-sighted.

請改寫:







這題會先定義negative effects on young people’s behavior,如:口出惡言、暴力行為、懶散、上課分心、等。換句話說,假如你的理由沒有提到behavior(像觀念開放、扭曲人生價值)就離題囉!

這題的主題句與例子都要緊扣電視對年輕人行為的影響,才會切題。

可改寫成:
Movies and TV often depict a lot of violence, and young people might easily imitate violent behavior. 


10. Q: If a university wants to attract good students, it must spend a lot of money on social activities for students.

A: A university cares about budget control, and spending money on social activities for students is way too expensive.

請改寫:







這題要先定義目的,如何吸引好學生,因此,我會先分析好學生的特性,再看是否與今天的選擇—social activities有關。

如果你認為好學生愛玩、愛結交新朋友、需要放鬆,那麼辦社交活動便會是個好主意。如果你認為好學生很用功、很宅、喜愛早睡、喜歡吸收新知,那麼舉辦演講可能會是個更不錯的主意。
因此,會改寫成:
Good students enjoy having fun, and social activities can provide them with opportunities to do so.


看完了十道作文題目後,有沒有發現其實真的超容易離題的呢?(喔不~~~)

請你現在誠實地統計自己的得分,每道題目,只要離題就算一分,看以下的分析。

0~2分 A型: ^ ____ ^

恭喜你!你算是審題高手喔!(灑花~~~)
只要多加練習,寫作要到27,28分,完全沒問題。
建議多看一些作文,學會給恰當的feedback,便能夠持續進步。

3~5分 B型:= ____ =

你算是正常人,別太沮喪!只要好好練習審題想點,寫主題句,
正式上場時,便可以寫出一篇清楚、切題的作文。
建議上J2 TOEFL的臉書社團,下載最新的寫作小範圍,用裡面的題目大量練習審題、想點
考試時,如果有出同樣的題目,就賺到啦!

6~10分 C型:X ____ X

你算是非常容易離題的類型喔!而且你通常寫完,會自我感覺良好,完全沒有意識到已經離題了呀!請多多加油!建議先學會如何審題、想點,並且確保自己在練習時不會走偏。


最後,給同學幾點整體建議:

  1.   看題目時,請先思考從出發?做決定?(WHO)
如: 題目要問政府有塊空地,應該蓋體育場還是公園?我會先定義政府的特性、注重的層面。

   2. 只要題目有出現態度或是目的,主題句就得先定義再回答,才不會離題。
如:對於大學最重要的是,增購器材還是聘請有名的教授?我會先定義對於大學,什麼層面最重要。

   3. 看清楚題目在問什麼,如果不懂,可以先翻譯成中文再理解。
如:All schoolteachers should be required to take courses every five years to update their knowledge. 可先翻譯成:
所有學校老師希望更新知識時,是否應該每五年修一些課。
如此便能夠清楚看出什麼是目的了,再去定義目的。

祝同學練習寫作愉快!:D

希望人人上考場時,都能夠看清楚題目,好好發揮平常實力呀!
否則,明明作文程度很好,只因離題而拿低分,真的太冤枉了!* O *

想要了解如何看出自己的作文是否離題嗎?那又是另外一個故事了,
請看: