（本篇為David 回覆PTT 托福板板友的文章）
作者 earnest (大衛) 看板 TOEFL_iBT
作者 earnest (大衛) 看板 TOEFL_iBT
標題 Re: [請益] 請較各位前輩有關口說
時間 Mon Mar
5 22:47:07 2012
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※ 引述《uplaabura (Inside me)》之銘言：
: 請教一下各位前輩，2 reasons與1 reason +
example哪個好呢?
: 我看許多的模板都是2 reasons，不過那些理由都有點空泛
: 例如which can improve our understanding of
history.
: I can make
friend and make my life funny.
一個理由和一個好的例子，勝過兩個理由和空泛的例子。
: 所以打算改成一個理由+一個親身體驗，不知道這樣行不行得通呢?
我認為沒有問題！
: Q:比較喜歡從家人還是朋友得到建議?
: 2R:
: Personally speaking, I prefer to get advice from my
parents for the
: following reasons.
: First, since parents love their children and always wish
their children to :
become successful, getting advice from parents enables us to
keep away from
: bad things or advices that might mislead us.
you have two major problems here:
first is that you leave your reason until the very last.
when you can, you should always say your reason first,
here it seems to be:
getting advice from parents enables us to keep away from bad
things or advices
that might mislead us.)
then support it with your material.
your second problem is your supporting material doesn't
support the reason.
in other words, it's not logical.
"enables us to keep away from danger or misleading
advice"
doesn't really have much to do with
"parents love their children and want their kids to be
successful",
right?
at least for me the logic is not very clear.
: 1R+1E:
: Personally, I prefer to get advices from my parents and
grandparents.
: The reason is that, parents and grandparents have more
experiences in
: their life, so they can provide more proper advices. For
example, when I’m
: in military service, I had a difficulty in managing my
soldiers and
: coordination with other departments. And my grandparents
gave me a great
: solution. They told me some stories, and the situation is
totally like mine.
: So I applied the solution in managing my team and
communicating with other
: departments' people, and sucessfully overcomed the
difficulty. I learned a lot
: from my grandparents.
: So that’s why I prefer to get advice from my parents and
grandparents.
我認為這一段比較好。
值得注意的是，當你用越多的理由來闡述，
你出現上述邏輯錯誤的機會便越多，
而如果你用豐富的故事來做例子，支持你唯一的理由，
便切題、有說服力，也相對較不易出錯。
可是這一段裡面有不少的文法錯誤，建議你如果要以這個做為稿子，
先仔細地將其修過一遍。
～SK2 David
～SK2 David
