大家好，我是SK2 TOEFL 的Chris。
In order to stop cheating, teachers should limit students' use of time, and imposing penalty such as decreasing their leisure time can let them be less willing to duplicate answers assignment from others directly.
Take me as an example. When I was an elementary school student who was a sports lover as well as a lazy person who liked to copy answers to math question from other's student, in order to stop my bad behavior, my teacher requested me to stay in the classroom after school and do my math homework under her supervisions as a punishment. In this way, when I finished all these questions and got home at 9 pm, I found that I had no time to play basketball and could not watch NBA competitions at 7 pm. As a result, because of this punishment which let me stop taking others' answers, I would study math and finish my homework earlier at school so that I do not have to be supervised by my teacher and also enjoy watching my favorite basketball game at home in time.
1. 太多 and, who, to, in, so that, who, 在同個句子理
Take me as an example. When I was N who V.O. who V.O. to V.O. , in order to V.O. , my teacher V.O. in N and V.O. under N. (只有算一句話)
In this way, when I V.O. and V.O. , I found that V.O. and could not V.O.
As a result, because of N which V.O. , I would V.O. and V.O. at N so that I do not V.O. by N and enjoy V-ing in N.
I was N who V.O. who V.O. to V.O.
這句話也是因為who修飾語過多，導致定義不明確。一下正面 (love sports)，一下負面的訊息(Lazy)，會混淆讀者你想表達的重點。
because of this punishment which let me stop taking others' answers：因為這個「讓我不再抄别人的答案的」處罰，這裡的修飾語顯得很冗贅，修飾的目的若只是要重述「我已經不再抄答案了」，那為何不放在「例子結局」中表達，不是更簡單俐落嗎？
Take me as an example. When I was an elementary school student, I tended to copy my friends' math homework. My teacher discovered my bad behavior and asked me to stay in the empty classroom after school, doing my math homework alone. After the three hours of torture, I finally finished all these math questions at 9 pm. This punishment, with my teacher's eyes darting at me, was horrible to me as a sports lover because I had no time to play basketball. Worst of all, I even failed to watch an NBA competition at 7 pm, in which my favorite player, Lebron James, was taking part. As a result, thanks to this punishment, I decided to drill on my math homework on my own and finish it much earlier at school, allowing me to enjoy the basketball game at home in time.
長句子定義：SVO 連結詞 SVO (加上一點簡單修飾語)
This punishment was horrible to me as a sports lover "because" I had no time to play basketball
同學原文中，是把love sports 放在修飾語不重要的位置，考官讀到的時候已經忘記了。
不重要的訊息：I even failed to watch an NBA competition at 7 pm, (in which my favorite player, Lebron James, was taking part.)
Punishment 在題目裡面是重要的訊息，同學的原文只用了supervision 有點可惜，我會加入「老師的雙眼一直像飛鏢盯著我，真是三小時的折磨。」→ 對我的處罰。
This punishment, with my teacher's eyes darting at me, was horrible to me
no time & sports lover 是主題句的定義，具體展開放入 I had no time to play basketball; I even failed to watch an NBA competition at 7 pm.