同學好，我是衝刺班顧問Chris : )
今天想與同學分享，在托福寫作中關鍵高分要素——具體化。
針對一道題目，我們提出理由後需要有例子支持，在例子中有兩種方式來支撐觀點：
針對一道題目，我們提出理由後需要有例子支持，在例子中有兩種方式來支撐觀點：
1. 道理解釋
2. 故事舉例
在課堂中，我們所教的Word bank，是故事舉例的一種方式，而故事不僅能讓考官感覺論證很新穎，也符合「由抽象到具體的」評分原則，然而，同學在使用上述方法【1】時，往往會犯太空洞、抽象解釋的問題，即便有切題，也很難到26分以上，因此，Chris今天用上週顧問時間來舉例：
我們寫的題目是（五月真經題）：
When the employer is looking for an employee, what is the best way of hiring him/her:
1. consulting his or her former boss and manager
2. conduct an investigation into the candidate’s social media and background online
3. let the candidate intern for one month to evaluate his/her qualifications
主題句(topic sentence)，大家都沒什麼大問題，我便以「雇主在乎效率」這理由為例：
Employers usually care about efficiency, and seeking advice from the candidate’s former manager can help employers save a lot of time.（向應聘者的前主管詢問，可以提高面雇主招聘的效率）
然而，進到例子細節後，多數同學喜歡用「抽象解釋」的方式來論證。
我們一起來感受像這樣的段落：
When the employer is looking for an employee, what is the best way of hiring him/her:
1. consulting his or her former boss and manager
2. conduct an investigation into the candidate’s social media and background online
3. let the candidate intern for one month to evaluate his/her qualifications
主題句(topic sentence)，大家都沒什麼大問題，我便以「雇主在乎效率」這理由為例：
Employers usually care about efficiency, and seeking advice from the candidate’s former manager can help employers save a lot of time.（向應聘者的前主管詢問，可以提高面雇主招聘的效率）
然而，進到例子細節後，多數同學喜歡用「抽象解釋」的方式來論證。
我們一起來感受像這樣的段落：
For example, if a employer directly contacted a candidate’s former manager by a phone call, the employer can ask all kinds of questions about this candidate from his former boss in only ten minutes, such as his personality, characteristics, and working expertise because the former manager who had worked with the candidate for a long time can know him very well. Therefore, it can save the employer a lot of time looking for a potential candidate.
乍看之下，這個看似有解釋得很清楚的段落，實際上卻很空洞：像是，沒回答到 Ask what kind of questions? what characteristics? what kinds of expertise? 以及， 省時間相關的細節，只有 “in ten minute ＆save a lot of time。論證的「過程」是重中之重，若同學時常忽略具體細節，很有可能說服力不夠，便會落入低分。以此例而言，可以問自己，time 怎麼save, 會做哪些事，有幾個步驟？ 大家可以思考這個動詞的畫面，把過程描繪出來。
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現在，我透過同學的段落，用【法2】做一點改寫，你會發現例子的鮮明度有所不同。
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現在，我透過同學的段落，用【法2】做一點改寫，你會發現例子的鮮明度有所不同。
For example, when Adam, a French restaurant manager, hired a cook, he wanted to know more about a young cook. To make sure he was qualified, Adam gave his former manager a call. While they were on the call, Adam spent only 3 minutes knowing that he can do many kinds of cuisines, such as Beef Wellington, Risotto, and delicate salmon. Also, in this quick conversation, Adam knows that the young cook even won the first prize in a cooking competition in French, and the young cook still has a humble mindset to keep learning new recipes. Through this 5-minute phone call, Adam decided to hire this outstanding young man without having a lengthy and time-wasting interview.
我們來分析，第一個段落中【法1】抽象字眼，變成【法2】具體字眼的過程：
1. Employers look for an employee ➜ Adam, a French restaurant manager, hired a cook
2. Consulting his or her former boss and manager ➜ gave his
former manager a call
3. Candidate ➜ a young cook
4. All kinds of question ➜ knowing that he can do many kinds of cuisines
5. Characteristic ➜ have a humble mindset to keep learning
6. Expertise ➜ he can do all kinds of cuisine, such as Beef Wellington, risotto, and delicate salmon
7. save a lot of time ➜ without having a lengthy and time-wasting interview.
若段落能讓考官閱讀你的文章時，如同一張畫布，讓考官「去想像到、摸得到、看得到、感覺到」，在沒有離題、合理、一看就懂的情況下，就會是有說服力且高分的段落了，如果同學想知道我寫這個段落的時候，腦袋在想什麼畫面，你可以看一下以下這個動畫，練習想像力喔！
事實上，托福寫作就是考同學具體化說服的能力，因此，Chris想給寫作卡關的同學一句話：
1. Employers look for an employee ➜ Adam, a French restaurant manager, hired a cook
2. Consulting his or her former boss and manager ➜ gave his
former manager a call
3. Candidate ➜ a young cook
4. All kinds of question ➜ knowing that he can do many kinds of cuisines
5. Characteristic ➜ have a humble mindset to keep learning
6. Expertise ➜ he can do all kinds of cuisine, such as Beef Wellington, risotto, and delicate salmon
7. save a lot of time ➜ without having a lengthy and time-wasting interview.
若段落能讓考官閱讀你的文章時，如同一張畫布，讓考官「去想像到、摸得到、看得到、感覺到」，在沒有離題、合理、一看就懂的情況下，就會是有說服力且高分的段落了，如果同學想知道我寫這個段落的時候，腦袋在想什麼畫面，你可以看一下以下這個動畫，練習想像力喔！
事實上，托福寫作就是考同學具體化說服的能力，因此，Chris想給寫作卡關的同學一句話：
“ Show, rather than tell “，具體展開，而非空泛論述，你一定會有所突破的！
Chris
Until then
Until then
